You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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