Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
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She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
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By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your cock deserves a montage
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fuck me I smell like cheese