After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.