mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.