Already got asked if we're dating
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize