I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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