we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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