if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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