oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
