his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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