I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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