My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
tell me about the eggs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
