You smell like a Billy Joel song
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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