I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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