Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i love accidental penises.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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