why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
