I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
