Sry I called you an 8
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize