How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
this is an emotional support booty call
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
