What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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