Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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