great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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