Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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