This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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