Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
