: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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