Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
