I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize