Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
