But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
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someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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