Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
