This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize