Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
