haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
