Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
