You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize