i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
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I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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