Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
