saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize