I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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