actually, I'm a sock model
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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