It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize