I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
