I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
