How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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