We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
