I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
