Acid is not a monday night drug
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
