I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
