It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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