well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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