Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
