Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
