it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize