Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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