Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
